Stay At Home Dad

On September 11, 2009 I became a stay at home dad. Thanks to the U.S. economy and our fabulous leaders in government I became unemployed. Now my kids get to see me every day on the computer, on the phone and leaving to go find that needle in the haystack job that everyone is competing for. While the bills are backing up and the kids need shoes, clothes and have other needs that require money I wait every two weeks for that huge unemployment check. I also found out my temper is getting shorter each day and my anxiety is growing. Sounds like I have it made.

Funny thing though, I like being at home and getting a check in the mail. This really works if only my checks were much larger. I like taking my kids to school. I like seeing them when they come home. It is much easier to monitor their homework and other responsibilities when I am with them. I love walking with them and conversing with them about their day and what is on their minds. I like cooking dinners for them. I really love being part of their lives. Being a stay at home dad is great.

My children saw this as they were growing up. They woke up and Dad was gone. I would come home usually around seven p.m. That meant they saw me for about an hour and a half because they were little and had to go to school the next day. There is not much you could do in an hour and a half but I tried to spend all that time with them. All that time commuting and working just does not seem worth losing being with my kids as they grew up.

My circumstances changed when my employer decided that they had to lose some of their employee salaries because business was slow. I won that lotto. I was out a job but quickly was hired by a LTL trucking firm. My hours changed. I started my day leaving home at midnight so I could begin the morning shift at 2 a.m. As supervisors we were required to work ten hours. I made it home at 2 p.m. Instead of going home I would drive directly to my children’s school, sleep in my car and wait for my kids to get out of school. Then I could maximize my time with them. I would stay up with them until about eight p.m. when I would have to go to bed.

The sum of all that work and commuting was no time for my family, weight gain, and flipping my car over off the freeway, rolling down an embankment and never seeming to get ahead and provide a better life for my children.

Being a stay at home dad is much better than being called into a meeting with my bosses (not mentors) to explain how I am going to improve drivers’ productivity or dock productivity. Cutting cost to save money usually involves laying off people or cutting the number of hours they work. My last job required the supervisors to do more clerical work as the clerical personnel were being laid off. That meant upset employees. What did I get for telling my group of employees that raises are frozen and hours were being cut? More work for me, longer hours and not receiving a raise for three years. My children are young adults and two are teenagers in high school. They are very busy with their lives.

My kids, as all kids do, want to spend most of their time with friends. But I get to see them and plan things with them now that the economy is in the dumps. There is a silver lining in everything.

All of this taught me a lesson. I let employers dictate my time, my wage and my life. None of it was very good. I knew but never acted upon it. I knew that I need to take control of my life. But it took Peggy and Rose of the Freedom Project to call upon me to make that change. As soon as they taught me what their program was all about I knew this is what I needed and desired. Now I can become the director of my life. To be the dad I so much want to be. To be rewarded for my efforts. To build a life that my children and their children will be able to enjoy.